While background watching some television today, I hear the familiar voice of an “As Seen on TV” infomercial announcer. He was shouting about the latest and greatest innovation in the promotion of laziness.
We’re to that point Blogosphere.
We’re inventing products specifically for the goal of promoting Laziness.
I present to you:
On Everyone’s Christmas List!
I am fairly sure that this may very well be this year’s hot Christmas item. It’s like the Snuggie to the next level. For a mere $29.99 (plus shipping, handling, and who-knows-whatever-other-fees-or-clubs they will charge your credit card) you can own these adult pajamas (complete with a fly zipper and a butt-flap) and not have to be inconvenienced by any of those other foolish methods of keeping warm like blankets, turning up the heat, or wearing regular clothes. You can’t be bothered to do any of those obviously expensive or boring traditional methods.
You need the Forever Lazy!
The youtube video has nearly 1 million views. I really hope that it’s the comedic value. Because honestly, if we’ve gotten to the point where we’re too lazy to use a blanket to keep warm, then it’s a sad place we’re headed, my friends.
Some Good Ideas Just Aren’t Good
I get the point a Snuggie. The sleeves business makes good sense. But even on days when you are making the choice to do the lazy thing when you get up to use the bathroom, I think you should be able to handle the inconvenience of not having your body completely covered in fleece. I don’t really think we need to get to the point where we are making clothing for adults with butt-flaps. I mean, seriously. BUTT-FLAPS! Because you can’t even be bothered to remove the thing to take a slam: Forever Lazy “has zippered hatches for great escapes when duty calls.” When duty calls… yea. Duty.
Butt-flaps are cute when you’re a toddler in footie pajamas on Christmas morning. Butt-flaps are just creepie and weird if you’re a grown man sitting on the couch cramming Cheetos down your throat as you pwn some noobs on Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3. (Until, of course, doodie calls. At which point all you have to do is unzip your trusty butt-flap)
I sincerely hope that no one is taking the advice of the announcer, and actually wearing this contraption outside of the house. We already have to deal with the absurdity that is jeggings, please, for the love of humanity and all things good in this world, please don’t let people start leaving the house in these things. I wouldn’t be surprised if they did. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if they eventually had their own section in the next People of Walmart coffee table book.
Innovation for the Betterment of Mankind
I am a fond believer in innovation to improve lives. We desperately need people to think outside of the box and work to make difficult tasks easier. But do we seriously need to invest money into making being lazy any easier? I mean… it’s being lazy. It’s about the easiest thing there is. Short of turning our recliners into toilets, there are only a few things we’re not already doing. If the Mike Judge Film Idiocracy is any indication of what our future might hold, then I fear the Forever Lazy is merely a glimpse of things to come.
Please don’t be right about the fate of the world Mike Judge. Please don’t be right.
I am sad to report that this in at the top of my husband’s Christmas list… So I guess I’ll be contributing to the downfall of mankind and buying of these things.
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