I’m gonna save the build up for you. I’m the stupid nurse referenced in the title of this article. Also, before I get your hopes up, let me just say, the title is pure sarcasm.
Women hold a grudge.
This is no real secret. Most of us ladies know we tend to remain resentful, pessimistic, and guarded around certain people and situations. However, most of us can at least pretend and be professional enough to function appropriately in the workplace if said grudge happens to involve the workplace.
I think I do a very good job of controlling my grudge-type feelings. Considering the hell I was put through for two years, and the resulting change to night shift, I really do think I do quite well. My entire life had to be rearranged because of the fact that the individuals I worked with deemed me unworthy of sharing their workspace, time, and assistance in patient care. I tried for a very long time to stick it out, to be there for my patients, and to be professional and civil in the face of adversity and I was unable to continue.
Now, after various events, huge changes in my life, and relatively none in theirs (except for apparently the well-celebrated loss of this nurse), you would think they would be content. No. They’re not.
There are still days where I have to handoff and receive patients to and from them. fortunately, we have phone report so the majority of the awkwardness is eliminated. However, there are occasions where a brief update is needed or the nurse may inquire about something you had not included. This is usually quick and painless. However, they will not make any eye contact with me and there is always a tone of disgust in their voice. I also have to be very careful to dot my I’s and cross my T’s because they are constantly looking for the flaws of others. With these flaws. I have seen them makes lists. Lists to get those they felt were incompetent or stupid, fired. And who do you think their incompetence/stupidity poster child is? yep… The Nerdy Nurse, herself.
Lately, one of them, in particular, has taken it upon herself to enforce to me what is ‘my responsibility’. Several times she has approached me about different situations, involving patients who are not hers, to tell me what I ‘have’ to do.
I really want to the right thing in all matters of life. That includes completing appropriate tasks for my patients and being helpful and considerate to my coworkers and nurses receiving my patients. I often go out of my way to do little extra things in an effort to improve the flow of patient care and make their day easier. is this noticed? No? However, what is noticed is when a Doctor writes an order at 6:55 A.M to place an NG tube and geez Louise, at 7:00 the son-of-a-gun isn’t down.
Well, that must make me the worse nurse ever. Never mind that it wasn’t stat, typically I wouldn’t have known about the order, and had every intention of doing it prior to leaving. Once again I was informed that is was my responsibility. whether it was or not is still gray to me, however, it was good for the patient and I wanted to do it for him (even with as much as I loathe an NG placement). When she (who once again, was not responsible for this patient) asked me if I was going to place it (only knowing about it because they scrambled to get a chart and read AM orders, because I even knew they were being handed over) I told her I was “thinking about it”. Which I was. I was thinking about how much I hate doing it, how much they would not appreciate it, would probably complain about it, and how weird the patient’s wife was. I was also thinking it would take me and 30 minutes to get it done, they would not extend me the same courtesy, and it was not a stat order. I was getting myself mentally ready to do something I equate to torture. Her response “It’s not 7:08 and it’s your responsibility. You have to do it before you go.”
Do I? I had already enquired to my charge nurse if she would mind helping and if it was something I needed to make sure was done, because as I said, I was still gray on this. She declined and didn’t give me a clear answer.
Although this is not the most professional, but much more appropriate than what I wanted to say to her, I replied “You’re not my mama or my boss. You can’t tell me what to do.” Not exactly a moment of brilliance or professionalism for that matter. But, geez, I am so freaking tired of being bullied by them. Bullied! I mean the very thought that this occurs in an adult environment ins absurdity. What’s even worse is it’s like the big kids ganging up on the little ones. I’m 24! They are in their mid-late 30’s and 40’s. I mean, they really put the phrase “Nurses Eat Their Young” right in the forefront of your mind. They don’t only eat them, take a laxative so it’s a hell of a ride out as well.
I’ll spare you the other various details of the encounter, but basically it escalated in many petty remarks from both “sides”, with hers having multiple nurses, the secretary, ext., joining in to tell me how they could not stand me, glad to be rid of me, and I’m stupid.
I called the house supervisor.
I didn’t know what else to do. they were attacking me verbally. I wouldn’t have been surprised to find a roaring fire in front of the ER, because they were getting ready to burn me at the stake! They (shift change) came. We talked. The nurse told them how everyone was on her side, I was wrong, I’m childish, ext. I agree, today, I was childish. After a while of discussing the issues, most unresolved from prior incidences, it has been pretty much agreed that no matter what I try to do, it has to come from both sides and it does not appear that all parties involved want to resolve any conflict.
So what is going to happen? Really I don’t know. The track record has proven that I am the one that suffers, initially and long-term in these incidences. I guess I’ll see if I get a call Monday morning. Really, all I want to do is come to work and take care of my patients. I want to be treated with dignity and respect from my coworkers. I was to be able to sleep at night (or day) without worrying what they have added to their list about me. I want to provide excellent care to my patients, be helpful and considerate to my coworkers, and earn a living to support my beautiful family.
Why won’t they let me do this?