Forever Lazy: When Products To Make Life Easier Just Go Too Far

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While background watching some television today, I hear the familiar voice of an “As Seen on TV” infomercial announcer.  He was shouting about the latest and greatest innovation in the promotion of laziness. 

Yep.

We’re to that point Blogosphere.

We’re inventing products specifically for the goal of promoting Laziness.

I present to you:

Forever Lazy

On Everyone’s Christmas List!

forever lazyI am fairly sure that this may very well be this year’s hot Christmas item. It’s like the Snuggie to the next level.  For a mere $29.99 (plus shipping, handling, and who-knows-whatever-other-fees-or-clubs they will charge your credit card) you can own these adult pajamas (complete with a fly zipper and a butt-flap) and not have to be inconvenienced by any of those other foolish methods of keeping warm like blankets, turning up the heat, or wearing regular clothes. You can’t be bothered to do any of those obviously expensive or boring traditional methods.

No.

You need the Forever Lazy!

The youtube video has nearly 1 million views. I really hope that it’s for the comedic value. Because honestly, if we’ve gotten to the point where we’re too lazy to use a blanket to keep warm, then it’s a sad place we’re headed my friends.

Some Good Ideas Just Aren’t Good

I get the point a Snuggie. The sleeves business makes good sense. But even on days when you are making the choice to do the lazy thing when you get up to use the bathroom, I think you should be able to handle the inconvenience of not having your body completely covered in fleece. I don’t really think we need to get to the point where we are making clothing for adults with butt-flaps. I mean, seriously. BUTT-FLAPS! Because you can’t even be bothered to remove the thing to take a slam: Forever Lazy “has zippered hatches for great escapes when duty calls.” When duty calls… yea. Duty.

Butt-flaps are cute when you’re a toddler in footie pajamas on Christmas morning. Butt-flaps are just creepie and weird if you’re a grown man sitting on the couch cramming Cheetos down your throat as you pwn some noobs on Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3. (Until, of course, doodie calls. At which point all you have to do is unzip your trusty butt-flap)

I sincerely hope that no one is taking the advice of the announcer, and actually wearing this contraption outside of the house. We already have to deal with the absurdity that is jeggings, please, for the love of humanity and all things good in this world, please don’t let people start leaving the house in these things. I wouldn’t be surprised if they did. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if they eventually had their own section in the next People of Walmart coffee table book.

Innovation for the Betterment of Mankind

recliner toilet chair idiocracyI am a fond beleiver in innovation to improve lives. We desperateatly need poeple to think outside of the box and work to make difficult tasks easier. But do we seriously need to invest money into making being lazy any easier? I mean… it’s being lazy. It’s about the easiest thing there is. Short of turning our recliners into toilets, there are only a few things we’re not already doing.  If the Mike Judge Film Idiocracy is any indication of what our future might hold, then I fear the Forever Lazy is merely a glimpse of things to come.

Please don’t be right about the fate of the world Mike Judge. Please don’t be right.

update:

I am sad to report that this in at the top of my husband’s Christmas list… So I guess I’ll be contributing to the downfall of mankind and buying of these things.

 

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Comments

  1. says

    Hello Nerdy!

    Totally awesome. I want one in each colour! Why can I not source these in the UK? It is so unjust.

    However, surely the butt flap is a bit too much exertion for the truly lazy? Could they not just provide some adult size nappies (diapers?) along with the toasty socks?

    Alternatively, your commode recliner contraption would be a good option.

    Thank you for sharing! This is real and not a spoof right?

  2. Kate says

    I LOVE MY FOREVER LAZY!!! I have two, actually. I’m wearing one now :) People make fun of me for it, but it’s seriously the most comfortable thing I have EVER worn. But, WARNING! Wearing the Forever Lazy will truly make you lazy. I have to actually take it off to get anything done around the house. But, if all you want to do is be lazy (and let’s face it, if you work hard, you deserve to be lazy sometimes!) then this is perfect for you! BUT FLAPS! Yes!!! going to the bathroom is so awesome with flaps!! I love this product!

    • says

      That’s what I’m afraid of.
      As much as I do think we need lazy time, I am often tempted to take too much. I think most people are tempted to take too much.

      Butt Flaps… this is the ultimate Forever Lazy conundrum for me.
      Would I love or hate to have this.

      Really I think it might be inconvenient for me. I’m pretty sure that the butt-flap would find itself in the toilet water and I’d have to take it off all together. It would defeat the purpose.
      So many challenges…

      I really need to stop this analytical thinking. It spoils the fun of butt-flap adult pajamas

  3. Nancy says

    While I agree in general, there are actually good uses for this buttflap thing. Camping in the spring or fall comes to mind. More than once I have woken up at 4am out on a campsite and “held it” as long as possible waiting for it to get warmer when the sun came up. Campsite restrooms can be very cold. :-)
    Also, with money being so tight, I have several friends who turn down their thermostats to 55 – 60 at night, and it’s nice to not have to bare everything from the waist down when going to the potty. So, it seems to me like it’s a good “niche” item. The flap does look like a pain in the neck to work, though, so I don’t know if it would be worth it.

    • says

      You are totally right.
      I get it… I do. But did they really have to promote the butt-flap for “when duty calls.” They totally went there. BAM.

      I see this as one of those items of clothing that someone might wear for a week solid, and when they take it off, it’s covered in Cheeto residue and body funk. It’d probably have enough build up of old dead skin to stand up on it’s own and support it’s own bacterial eco-system.

      Perhaps it wouldn’t be so irritating to me if it were called “Forever Snugli” or something like… we’re lazy enough. believe me, I’ve got the bug myself, and I can say that the last thing I need is something to make it easier for me to be lazy.
      Now something to keep me warm, well, that’s an entirely different story.

      I’m becoming more and more convinced that the Forever Lazy is going to the this year’s hot Christmas item. And I’m pretty sure there at least a few will eventually find their way into my home, because my husband has almost begged for one.

  4. Emily Cullen says

    Just heard the commercial and thought of your blog about FL. I read it aloud to my husband and we both cracked up. You know I needed a good laugh today, thank you my friend for your astute observations!

  5. Robin Hood says

    I am so angry at Forever Lazy!!! I purchased one for each of my family members (8) on their website and ordered the thicker deluxe material for an extra 10 dollars each. I keep getting duplicate orders arriving at my door I now have over 20 that have arrived. I also apparently am getting 20 plus blankets that they charged to my credit card. They have not arrived yet. I am over 600 dollars into this gift and there is not a real contact number on their site to talk to a customer service rep and their e-mail updates on my order status are a NO REply format. I have no way to change or correct my order. Also the fleece is so thin it is like a sock not a polar fleece as per the add. I feel i have been had and will be contacting the Better Business bureau ASAP.
    Lesson learned, Don’t shop on the internet!!!! You never know what you will get. I think mine may be some Chinese knockoffs. Anyone want an extra 12 forever lazy suits that i will never be able to return since the return address doesn’t exist!!!!

    • says

      EEK! I’m so sorry to hear that!
      I’ve found this to be the case with many “As Seen On Tv” products. Their promotions usually sound too good to be true because they are. While I haven’t read any in particular about the forever lazy, I have seen your story played out on many other of these sort of promotions.
      I’m terribly sorry and hope that you are able to get your money back/return what you had not intended to order.

      I would suggest contact your credit card company and disputing the charges. They are usually very good about getting them resolved.

  6. michelle says

    bahahahaha. laziness in america adds to the obesity epidemic. congratulations to the company for causing heart disease, diabetes, and various other health conditions per being lazy.

  7. juko6659 says

    I know the butt flap is somewhat creepy – BUT, in its defense – I spend a lot of time alone at home, and keep the thermostat turned down because fuel oil is obscenely expensive these days; I wear whatever will keep me warm with the thermostat set at 58 degrees, and these all-in-one fleece monstrosities are ugly but wonderfully warm and comfortable. I had one from LL Bean that cost more, and had no butt-flap. Suffice it to say that bathroom visits were chilling experiences, unless you wear MORE layers underneath the all-in-one fleece monstrosity, which seems to defeat the purpose.

    I like the butt flap. And no, I would never DREAM of wearing this fleece thing where anyone would actually see me in it – but I love it for all-alone time. REALLY love it.

    • says

      I totally agree that it’s functional and practical, at home.
      What I’m afraid of is when people will wear them outside of the home. And it’s not a matter of it, it’s a matter of when.

      A co-worker of mine received one. They were super excited about it.

      Apparently others in the office felt that the “hatches” could be duel purpose as a marital aid.

      It was an interesting conversation to say the very least.

  8. says

    I think we reached the point of infomercial products made specifically for the lazy long before the snuggie, its just the latest in a long line of quick-fixes for those that can’t do even the simplest of tasks, like get dressed in real clothes before heading to the grocery store.

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