Fearing Zombies and Being a Nurse

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 I have this fear of Zombies

I am sure this comes from years of playing survival horror video games. Resident Evil and Silent Hill have been staples of my gaming hobby since I was a kid. Because of this, Capcom and Konami have certainty impacted my views of the world, and I can’t say that this makes my nursing routine any easier On the contrary, actually, as it does add an amount of anxiety that I’m sure most other nurses have the privilege of avoiding.

Although, this isn’t a completly bad thing. Because of my fear of zombies, I make a point to search out the best possible hiding places and escape routes in any building that I spend more than a few hours in. You never know when people are going to catch the rage virus and start looking at year head like it’s filled with their brainy dinner.

So why zombies?

Well, honestly, I encounter the dead a lot more frequently that most members of society. Its not terribly often, mind you, in fact, it’s usually less than one a year. However, that is still more than I would if I were not in this profession.
Every time I have performed post-mortem care I am on pins and needles. I can’t get over the nagging sensation that at any moment they could moan, groan, vomit, or leap off the bed in a feverous attempt to eat my brains.

Fox News says we’d have to act fast if we planned to stave off an invasion, should the Zombies appear to try to take us out: Research on Zombies.

It’s absurd and silly and I know its dang-near impossible, but the fear is still there.

So how do I combat the fear of Zombies?
Well to start, I work in a field of nursing where the goal average stay is 1-3 days. Post-op Surgical. We cut ‘em open, take it out, stitch ’em up, get ’em up, walk them around, have them eat, have them pee, have them poop, control their pain, and send them home. I like these patients the best. I feel like I accomplish something when I send them home. I feel like in our short time together we were able to make and meet our goals.

I do not get the same job satisfaction when I’m dealing with chronically ill or dying patients. This is one of the many reasons I am thrilled that there are so many different types of people involved in my chosen profession. There is a type of person suited for every nursing role, and a type of nursing suited for every nurse. I applaud you hospice and oncology nurses. You do a God’s work. You work hard, strain your backs, minds, and hearts to everyday give people dignity and care in their final days. You take care of a lot more potential Zombies that I. You do this so beautifully and angelically, and I thank you for it.

On occasion, I am asked to walk in your shoes, and I fear they are much too big for me to fill. I stumble, but I do reach the finish line, in whatever manner that may require. Death still frightens me. The dead still frighten me. The undead frighten me the most.

Is it ridiculous? Well yes! Can I help it? No.

Will I have a leg up on any other nurse if some act of craziness does insight a Zombie Apocalypse?

Damn Straight.

Even the CDC has some “tongue-in-cheek” guidance on how to prepare for the zombie apocalypse.
And just in case you aren’t clear on this. There are rules you must follow:

And if you can’t follow the rules. You can’t come to my house!