My head is filled with mounds and mounts of topics that I wish to make bloglictical commentary on. It’s unfortunate that even though I am home from work with a wealth of information to write about, I fumbling for the ability to do it.
I’m awake and coherent about 3 hours of the day. The rest of the day is spent sleeping, bumping into things around the house, or being in a vivid lucid dream state most likely induced by the pain medication related to my recent hospital stay. We’ll talk more on the fanciful dreams later. Likely not in this blogpost, but they are something worth mentioning, I think. But when narcotics can put you into a state that has you seeing Alton Brown appearing as the Scrarecrow from the Wizard of Oz, then a frog, then a fish, then, and cat, all rounding out to the revelation that he is the leprechaun from Lucky Charms, it’s worth writing down somewhere, at least.
Coming to Terms with my Tumor
If you follow me or my blog you likely noticed that seemingly out of nowhere I popped up a few weeks ago and informed you on all my brain tumor and the surgery that would soon come. To be honest I had mixed emotions about sharing the experience, but ultimately I have never been one to hold anything back, so I knew it wasn’t a matter of whether I would block about it, but how.
So now that I have had the surgery and I am sitting at home, tumor free I have a wealth of emotion of commentary I need to filter through. I’ll be honest with the fact that I’m really quite annoyed to have had a brain tumor and had to deal with it. I think most people would be. But I’m also annoyed with other things and I am not sure if I have yet had the time to take into consideration all relevant information to make a decision about how I feel about many of the scenarios brought about by my pituitary macroadenoma and the surgery to remove it.
But here’s a sneak peak of one of the reasons this entire ordeal has trended on the annoying side to me: no tumor was removed from my brain.
Of course there is more to the story that just that. All sorts of extra little details and fill-in will come along to complete the picture for you. And although I cannot promise every detail will be precise (… since I am human and did just have brain surgery) I will do my best to give you musings you know be best for.
- A couple of topics I plan to discuss:
- When did blue become the new white for nurses?
- Why isn’t Barcode Scanning Electronic Medication Administration a standard everywhere?
- Are larger Hospitals Always filled to the Brim with Foreign Born Nurses?
- Are Nurses Becoming Scripted?
- Are the Numbers more important than the care?
These things and many others have been running through my mind after experiencing the other side of nursing… you know, the patient side.
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I'm Ready to ThrivePerhaps I am entirely too critical and opinionated, but I felt like I was being cared for be a series of well-trained robots. They took orders and read from scripts. If you asked a question that wasn’t int their usual chain of events, they were stumped and the answer I most often got was “I’ll have to call the doctor.”
We’ll chat more about this later though.
For now, I am back, and will be in and out in my various vices of social media joy. I will be recovering and preparing to speak about social media for nurses at the MEDITECH nurse leadership conference June 6th through 8th. Would love for you to join me there!
Thank you all so much for your kind words and warm wishes while I was indisposed with surgery. It means more to me than you will ever know.
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Chris,
It’s very unfortunate, and it does appear that you are hitting the nail right on the head.
Carlin does have a way with words doesn’t he.
Albeit not the most eloquent of language, the man told it like it was an didn’t spare you an mushy sugar coating.
I don’t think wages have changed all that much, at least in my neck of the words. Pat scale for nurses does vary drastically based upon, location, however.
I do think it’s a down right shame for us to be recruiting overseas when there is a large pool of unemployed nurses right here in the states. You got to take care of your own before you can start saving the world, you know? And it’s not even about better the lives of others, its about getting a warm body for the lowest dollar. And that is just very very sad.
Thinking of you! I wish you a speedy recovery and I hope that you feel better soon!
Thank you. I am feeling SO much better now.
Though you don’t realize how being off your feet for a while can truly take a tole on your body.
I nearly fell over trying to walk up my stairs.
Muscle wastes away so fast.
Thinking of you, can’t wait to hear “The Rest Of The Story!”
yes yes. There is more.
Brittany,
I had no idea, I’d been away a while from blog-sphere. Wishing you a speedy recovery and hoping you are well soon. It must have been strange for you to become a patient.
very strange.
I am back now.
Of course I said that a few days ago and look where that landed me.
I do, however, feel better today than I have in 2 weeks.
Thanks for keeping an ear out for me.
Welcome back home and back to the blogosphere, and I am dying to know what happened to the tumor!!! Is it still there? Was it ever there? Was there a miraculous vaporization? Inquiring minds want to know!
Hope the headaches dissipate soon!
headaches went away after a trip to the ICU.
Major dehydration and not sure what else… course I guess the surgery in general, but they have mostly subsided.
As far as tumor, more o that later.
Brittney, sending good thoughts for a speedy recovery your way. Hoping “no tumor” is good news.
I think so. Thank you.
OY!
Well, I am glad you are home and sorry for these annoying issues.
So much of what’s scrambling around in your brain and heart are interesting to me, so I’ll be staying tuned. Take your time though as all of these things must be challenging to pin down. Especially right now.
I have many overlapping subjects in mind. Did you know that there was a recent letter from ANA president to HCA president basically asking him to stop hiring of non USA nurses? (http://www.nursingworld.org/HomepageCategory/NursingInsider/Archive_1/2011-NI/Nov-11-NI/ANA-Urges-HCA-to-Invest-in-Americas-Nurses.html) Something I want to blog about too, b/c I have many mixed feelings. I work with some awesome nurses and LNAs from all over the world and see many of them as wonderful and smart caregivers. Of course the language barrier can be significant. Unfortunately, I think, generally speaking, that many of these people tolerate abusive environments and less pay….maybe that is attractive to corporate healthcare? So I wonder, what’s the underlying problem and what should we do about it?
When you are feeling better I want to have a phone call with you to talk about some blog stuff that I think you can help me with. (I’d say I want to pick your brain, but that seems like a very bad-taste joke).
So anyways, take good care,
With love,
beth
Was this like a mistake on an MRI read?
Beth I hadn’t read that. But with the economy in it’s current state, it’s really disgusting for any large corporation to go outside of the US borders to recruit staff. There are MANY nurses who are qualified and unemployed already here, willing, and waiting for the call.
The language barrier was a large part of why I felt their care was subpar. Many times I could tell they didn’t fully understand the questions I was asking them and their default was “I’ll have to ask the doctor.” Because I am a nurse, I knew how to rephrase so they would understand. I can’t imagine how it must be for patients who can’t.
There is something to be said for a small town hospital. When I went to my hospital, instead of back to Emory, I felt warmly embraced and the true healing touch that can only be felt when a nurse puts her heart into her work.
At Emory there was disconnect and distance and I just wanted to leave, even though I was was still very sick upon discharge.
Would love to chat with you. Give me a few days. Still a little groggy and out of it. Would hate for it to be a waste of time. I see you filling up your blogspace with tons of juicey content and love it!
I had 2 prior MRIs that showed a mass and one after that showed no evidence of one. I don’t think they MRI was an error. I think that God healed me and it just blew the surgeons mind.
If anything like this ever happens again, there will be a repeat test to confirm findings the day before.
Thanks for your kind words and keeping an ear out for me. I have several blog posts rolling around in my head about this. Have to be cautions and considerate of other healthcare providers. But I am quiet upset with being, what I consider, a test subject.
Hi Brittney, I’m so glad to hear from you. It sounds like some really tough times and ugh to be in such a vulnerable place and have people taking care of you who don’t understand your questions seems really UNCARING not to mention, DANGEROUS! I’ve had situations where I’ve been supervising LNAs with english as a second language and asked them to do something or gave them feedback to NOT do something and had a response of “Yes, I understand” when I could tell they didn’t. Very frustrating.
I’ll look forward to some more blogging discussion about the HCA issue later. AND all the other blogging ideas that are rolling around for you….I can’t imagine being a test subject would feel good at all and it sounds like you’ve experienced first hand some of the worst stuff healthcare has to offer….some good too, no doubt and I understand the concept of being careful & considerate of healthcare providers….we do some great things in our healthcare systems but not always and we do need to talk about the tough stuff. I trust you know that if I can help in any way, I will.
For now I am glad you are healing and felt embraced in your home town hospital. We’ll chat when you are ready. I’m hoping you can help me get some advertising revenue stream going via my blog….as well as some other techie stuff….but no hurry.
Take care and we’ll talk more soon,
Beth
Brittney,
Glad to know that you are home safe, although I suppose “safe” is relative when you’re having to stumble around your house in a daze and envisioning oompa loompas at the foot of your bed.
I wouldn’t worry too much about engaging with the people who aren’t really there. I do that from time to time myself. They’re great company and I appreciate when I can have them collate documents, which I hate doing, and maybe even write the occasional guest post for me.
Great to have you back and look forward to more wonderful musings and nerdy content.
Gosh those hallucinations were certainly something. Reminds me of why I spend so much time on the internet. I don’t need to be left alone with just the thoughts in my own head.
Wishing you a speedy recovery! Please just rest and take care of yourself. I’ll be interested in your follow up posts especially as it pertains to nurse….now the patient. I know my own was quite revealing.
If they didnt remove the tumor are you going to be OK> Are your headaches better?
I have only been a patient, not a nurse- just whet did they do to you?
Ellen,
Apparently my tumor just vanished.
Headaches are better now, after a second round in the hospital.
I have very colorful language for what I think they did to me, but it’s probably better left unsaid until after I seek further council.
Things did not go as I or anyone else had planned.