How to fix a spoiled child?

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After spending time with a friend of mine who has a little boy a month older than Ty, I am convinced that we have got to attempt to start setting some limits with the little one. It becomes more and more apparent to me that he is very much aware of what he is doing and is often testing to me to see just how far he can go. At 11 months, he is capable of much more than I could ever imagine. He is so smart and can climb and swing and jump like no bodies business. However, he refuses to walk. He just won’t do it. And often we are trying to help or teach him, he screams bloody murder and cries real huge tears until we hold him.

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I love him so much and it is so hard to resist him because he is absolutely beautiful. How can I look at him in the eyes as they fill up with tears, and not hold him when I know that’s all he wants? Am I doing him a disservice?

Ty is so happy. He is so full of life and laughter. There are very few moments throughout the day when he isn’t smiling and laughing. Usually if he isn’t smiling he is putting something in his mouth that he shouldn’t, or crying because he wants to be held. Even when he is playing by himself he giggles.

Wyatt, my friend heather’s baby, is very calm and reserved. It takes a large amount of effort to get a laugh or a smile out of him. On the other hand, he is also considerably more independent and less mischievous, and when he does cry it isn’t a blood curdling shrill of a cry.

Which is better? A child that is full of laughter, but screams and cries to be held often on the drop of a hat? Or a child that is reserved, respectful, and appropriate and only cries to express that he is hungry,sleepy, or my child knocked him over…. again.

Perhaps it is just personality and I am worrying too much over this. I just really would like to do the right thing by my son. Right now as I type this he is asleep on me in his ring sling. He will almost never take a nap by himself, but will sleep for hours if someone is with him, and he does sleep through the night. I would like for him to have some level of independence, but I must admit, it is very nice to feel needed.

Advice from experienced mommies would be much appreciated.

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Comments

  1. Randominities says

    Have you thought about asking your pediatrician about Early Intervention? If you are really worried about his walking (motor skills) you can get those services usually paid for by the state by Early Intervention. You might also get some help for your other things through early intervention. I'd suggest you look into that.

  2. Momma Such says

    I have 4 boys and each of them have had completely different personalities. Our youngest tries to get his way and will even throw a little tantrum, we ignore the tantrums and don't give into them and he quits. He is slowly starting to learn that the tantrums are not the way to get what he wants.

    I think all children have different personalities and learn differently. However, if you give into them constantly you may have your hands full when he is older. I think it is easier to teach them boundries and get them set on the right track if you start while they are young.

    Good luck! Oh, and your son is absolutely adorable! :)

    Thanks for stopping by http://raisingmy4sons.com and entering my contests! :)
    Following you now!

  3. Nurse Brittney says

    thanks for the advice… we are trying, it is just so hard to see him upset at all. I want him to be happy always, even thought i know that is unrealistic. thanks for the follow!

  4. barb @ blogfully says

    That is one sweet looking baby- love the smile!!!

    Coming to you from MBC and I really love your site- very nice and inviting!

    Blogfully yours,
    Barb ;)

  5. Lois of HisFireKids.com says

    Hi
    I am also from MBC and I am enjoying ur blog…I would LOVE to swap a follow=)

    Concerning your son, I agree with everyone…he is a cutie pie=) I am sure as he gets older you will feel more confident as a mom. It would be difficult to "mess him up" either way.

    I agree with "Momma Such" that all kids are diff and have diff temperaments and tendencies. We have 10 mo twins and already 1 seems more demanding at times…but I am not sure why. So we discipline the whining by making a serious face and telling them "no fuss" when they seem to be "beefing" for no reason. We first see if there is a just reason.

    I also agree that if u do not give into them, they will stop…eventually once they finish testing your resolve=) I had one son who only obeyed when he could see that I was ready to enforce my commands. A simple stare wasn't enough.

    We gave into our first kid…alot. She was also very happy and smiley most of the time. She was also large b/c we also fed her when she cried for anything…LOL Anyway, we didn't break her. we made her a little more demanding for a while though as she was growing up..that can be a pain…so then we had to deal with it as she got older……

    I think you will be fine…u can relax mom=)I am sure u r giving lots of love to ur cutie….

    IF you want more peace later…you may need to put up with more crying now when you put boundaries up for your precious son. But if you don't mind holding him to nap and things like that…it won't destroy him.

    They only concern I ever have with little ones is if they don't obey once mom gives a firm command. If they won't obey me then…I worry and tighten up the reigns b/c there are safety issues (like if I command them to stop to avoid danger) and respect issues (will they respect mom and dad when they get older and taller than me=).

    Anyway…take care and I look forward to being ur new blogging pal

    my newish blog is
    http://ParentingTwinsandMore.com

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